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My sister’s daughter and my daughter are both born on the same day, but three years apart. Ever since they have had birthday celebrations, we always have a joint birthday party since we both live in the same town. It makes it easier to have one family party to celebrate them both. That is up until now. This year my daughter turns 6 and my niece turns three. It seems that my sister and I have different ideas about kids’ parties, she thinks it is all about the adults and isn’t planning on inviting any kids; while my daughter is requesting a princess theme, friends to attend, etc. I am concerned because I want to still celebrate together for our families’ sake, but also feel like we are moving in two different directions with little common ground. Should we have a joint party again this year?
In this situation, it seems natural that eventually you would begin to celebrate these kids’ birthdays separately. Consider that the ages 6 and 3 are quite different; whereas when they were younger the party could be done with the cake, ice cream, and no planned activities. As kids get older, they want to have their friends over to celebrate and they want planned activities, usually around a theme. This could be just the first time that you are recognizing that a joint party will not work not because the types of parties you both want to plan are quite different these days.
If you feel comfortable, call your sister up and talk this out. To prepare, have it clear in your own mind what you want to do for this year’s birthday. It sounds like the ideas your daughter has for her party are perfect for her, and the plan your sister has made is good for her. I can understand that you don’t want to have the two parties on the same day since you both will be inviting family. One suggestion is to back up your daughter’s party date by a week. Your daughter will probably be anxious to celebrate her birthday anyway, and so doing it earlier would be great with her. Then you have a full week between parties and you can invite the family as well, and pay for only one party. The following week, since your sister’s party is really about the family, all of you can attend this party and have fun.
In future years, you will most likely need to decide how to resolve this situation so that you can celebrate your daughter’s birthday on her actual birthday as well and have the family attend. It may become that her parties are about her friends mainly and that the family comes together for a special meal or something.
