My son would like one gift this year for his birthday that is expensive. Instead of having all of the guests bring individual gifts to his upcoming party, I would like to ask everyone to put their money toward this gift. Is this appropriate, or will people be offended?

This is a tricky question because most people do not want to be directed toward purchasing a particular item or contribute money for a specific gift. However, if you have close friends and family who you know will not be offended and you feel comfortable asking them, it is acceptable. If you decide to do this, I would not designate an amount, but let them choose what they would like to contribute without any suggestions on your behalf. Also, be aware that if you do not ask all of the guests at your party for such a contribution and they find out, it may lead to some awkwardness as well. So, if you decide to only ask a few people, you may want to consider keeping it quiet and unwrapping gifts after the party is over so no one asks why presents may be missing.

If you are looking for an alternative to traditional gifts from your kid’s party guests that will not cost them any money, and will also take up party time as an activity, ask your guests to prepare a birthday wish, poem, or special charade for the birthday kid.

When you request something “theatrical,” the kids will be excited to prepare something special for your birthday child and they will also enjoy the opportunity to “perform” at the party.

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Recently, I had a birthday party for my three year old son. I was expecting my life-long best friend to give a wonderful present to him for his celebration, especially given the great lengths I took to host a great party for the kids an adults alike, and also because I always give her three kids very nice presents that are thoughtful. The present she gave my son was no more than $3 and was really not anything he was even interested in. I am terribly disappointed, especially because I know she has the money as she is always talking about how much she is constantly buying for herself and her family. What to do?

It is very interesting that people who are not under any financial hardship will not spend a good amount of money on other people’s presents, but will on stuff for themselves. Some ways to handle this with friends can be to have an open discussion and decide what is the amount everyone feels comfortable spending on kids’ presents, this way you won’t be overspending and being on the cheap end.

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My kid is sick and can’t attend the birthday party he has been invited to, do I need to drop off the gift?

If this is a birthday for a friend of your kid’s, then definitely still give the gift, but you can either drop it at a convenient time for you or have your kid take it to school and give it to him if they are in the same class.

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My kid has been invited to a party that he can’t attend, do we still give a gift?

In this situation, I would not feel obligated to give a gift. The only exception would be if the birthday kid is a family member or this birthday kid is a very close friend. In those situations, most likely, you will have the opportunity to see the birthday kid on a separate occassion and can give a present at that time.

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