This year, since my son was turning 7-years-old, we allowed him to invite the 8 kids he wanted to have at his party. He chose 5 classmates from school, and 3 kids from the neighborhood that he plays with most days after school. There was one child whom my son did not invite because he only sees and plays with this kid when there are neighborhood gatherings, i.e. a BBQ. After my son’s party, we were attending another event in the neighborhood, and the parents of the kid who had not been invited came up to me and loudly stated that I was very rude for not having invited their son. It was very awkward since we were attending another family’s party. Anyway, the parents demanded an apology. Is this really necessary on our part?

It all depends on how close you are to this family. From the circumstances described, it sounds like you are not very close to the family, and only see one another when there is a neighborhood gathering. If this is the case, it is easy to understand why your kid did not include their child in his party.

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My daughter has asked 4 friends to attend her party, two from her preschool class and two from the neighborhood. There is another kid who had invited my daughter to her party 8 months ago. Today, they hardly see one another or ever play together. As a result, she does not want to invite her. My husband thinks she should, and this child’s mother is a very good friend of mine. Should I insist we invite this kid with my daughter or let it be?

Kids’ relationships change quickly. If your daughter and this child are no longer close or share time together, it is understandable that she may not want to invite her, and possibly the other child will not even be interested in attending. Given you are feeling pressure, ask her directly if she would like to include her given she had a great time at her party months ago, etc. If she doesn’t budge, explain it directly to your husband. Also, discuss this with your friend before you extend invitations so she also understands. When you begin to let your kids decide who will or will not attend, it is important to respect who they want there, and work within those parameters.

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My 8-year-old was not invited to one of her best friend’s party. She is really upset about this. The mom and I are friends. Should I ask her what is going on and why she wasn’t invited?

Given your friendship with the mom, definitely ask her what is going on. Perhaps she was invited and the invitation went missing in the mail, or she was inadvertently left off of the list.

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My kid’s first “real” birthday party is this summer at the beginning of July. I mean “real” because this is the first year she has gone to school and wants to invite a ton of friends; she is turning 6. I am worried about people being away on vacation and not being able to attend. Also, people may not be around to receive the party invitations and will not RSVP. Should I have the party earlier to avoid this scenario?

I can completely empathize with this situation, as my birthday was always at the tail end of June and it seemed like a lot of my friends were not able to attend because they were on vacation. Given your daughter’s age, I am sure she would be thrilled to celebrate early. You would then not have to worry about the invitations and people not being around to attend. On her actual birthday, you can take her to the park or play a special game to mark it together.

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My 12-year old son was indirectly invited to a birthday party with only one day’s notice. He really wants to go because they are all friends. I think it is unacceptable, is it?

It would be interesting to know how he was “indirectly” invited, as it does not sound like a direct invitation was made. At the age of 12, your son will definitely want to attend with all of his friends. Traditionally, sending invitations with only one day’s notice is completely unacceptable as it gives no one time to respond or to make time for, what most likely will be, an already planned day. So, it is not how invitations should ever be done.

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I just sent out my invitation for my child’s party. That very same day my child received an invitation for a party on the same day. How to handle?

This is an excellent question, especially since many schools now have policies in place that require that parents invite the entire class to birthday parties. Odds are some of these parties will fall on the same day.

Here are a few ways you can handle this situation:

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