I want to limit the age of the kids who attend my kids’ party.  I don’t want kids older than 5-years-old attending the party since it is at a museum that is targeted to this age range.  I am concerned that my extended family will want to bring their tweens to attend this party.  I really don’t want this!  How can I say it nicely so they aren’t offended?

Be proactive with those that you are concerned about.  Pick up the phone and let them know directly that you are limiting the kids to the age range you have in mind.  If there are only 1-2 kids you are concerned about in your family, you may want to provide them the opportunity to help out at the party with the kids.  This gives them a helpful role to you, and you avoid having to say a complete “no” to their attendance.  If there are other guests with older siblings that you are concerned about outside of family, make sure to direct your party invitation only to the child being invited.  Be prepared when the RSVPs come rolling in with people asking if siblings can also attend. 

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My son turns 6 soon, and in an attempt to curtail numbers, we are going to invite only the boys in his classroom this year to his party.  Although he has been invited to several girls’ parties from his class, we feel this is a fair way to limit the numbers.  We are taking the kids to an ice hockey game.  Will this seem sexist to other parents?

If you are going to hand out invitations to kids in the classroom often you have to invite the entire class or either all of the boys or all of the girls.  So, definitely check with your school to see if there is a policy in place.  If you are allowed to only invite all of the boys, this is a perfectly acceptable way to limit your numbers and still be inclusive.  Also, if you receive questions from other parents, you can say we decided to limit it to the boys this year.  A very easy and clear boundary.  The fact that you are taking the boys to an ice hockey game does not make your decision sexist.  Your motivation is to limit your guests to a reasonable number, not to exclude girls from attending a hockey game. 

I am new in town and have had little chance to meet anyone, and my kid’s birthday party is coming up.  He is enrolled in school and knows almost everyone in his class, but I have no idea who these kids are.  Should I take liberty and invite the whole class to the upcoming party?  It could be awkward as I don’t know this community yet, and they don’t know me.  What to do?

(This is also an excellent question, if your child is simply new to the school and is meeting many new friends whom you don’t know in the least yet.)

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What if you are new in town, have had very little chance to meet anyone let alone unpack, and you have a birthday party coming up? Your kid is enrolled in school and knows almost everyone, but you have no idea who these kids are and if you should then take liberty to invite the whole class to the upcoming party. It could definitely be awkward as you don’t know this community yet, and they don’t know you.

Here are a few thoughts: Read the rest of this entry »

Recently I read the post of a very frustrated Mom who had invited 12 party guests to her kid’s 6 year old party. What made it frustrating for her was she had organized many activities for the party, but when the kids actually arrived with so many guests and no “helpers” the kids did very little of the crafts and/or activities, and simply went to playing roughly together…to the point where this Mom felt the party and the kids were out of control.

This is a stressful situation indeed, and one that can happen pretty easily if you invite a large number of guests with little help. In this case, when the Mom saw the party packets full of 10-12 cups, plates, etc. she thought it would be OK to invite that many kids. I am not sure why we can’t buy smaller packs, but somehow the “stuff” companies like to go with those standard numbers of 8 or 10 or 12.

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