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I have just received a party invitation for my kid to attend, and the host parents have asked for cash as a gift rather than traditional presents. Is this appropriate? Second, I want to respect what they want, but also don’t want to look cheap. Still, I am not that interested in giving a large amount of cash just so I don’t look cheap. After all, this is for a classmate, not even a close friend or relative.
In this day of kids’ party-dom, people are asking for what they want on their party invitations more and more. People are trying all sorts of new things where presents are concerned, everything from asking for “no gifts.” to “donations to charities” to “gift suggestions.” So, it is not a surprise that people would also ask for straight cash if that is what is really wanted. Host parents can often spend a great deal of time taking back gifts or seeing great presents go strictly unused. That is not ideal either.
Asking for cash could be for two reasons: there may be an item that is on the expensive side and the birthday kid would like everyone to contribute cash toward this purchase. This is particularly true for older kids who tend to want stuff that costs, i.e. sports equipment, video games, etc. If this is the case, you know that your cash gift is going toward something he really wants. Second, in order to avoid repeat gifts and stuff that the kid will never use, asking for cash allows for the birthday kid to go to the mall after the party and buy something he wants or to do something fun, a trip to the movies, etc.
If the host parent directly asks for this on the party invitation, it is a very good idea to be respectful and give cash as the gift. Although it is not the norm, it is what they asked for and actually it makes it easier on you time-wise to not have to go out and find a gift for this party.
Now, for the amount. Definitely lay aside what the amount you give will look like to the host parents. A very good guideline for kids’ party gifts is somewhere between $5 and $10. Given how many parties kids are attending, even these amounts add up! Many parties are for kids up to the age of 10. One dollar per year of age is a good guideline. So, if the kid is turning 7. $7 is a perfect amount. Alternatively, take the amount you were planning on spending on the gift and place this in the envelope, i.e. if that is $5, then give $5. Do not feel pressure to give more because it is in the form of cash. The most important thing is that you are comfortable with the amount you are giving.
Now, if you really are not comfortable providing cash as a present, a good secondary idea is to purchase a gift card for the amount you wanted to spend. When you call to RSVP, ask the host parent about the “cash for presents” part of the invitation. Express clearly how you want to respect their request, but don’t feel comfortable providing straight cash. Ask directly, is there a store that their kid loves to shop at or is planning to purchase a special gift from. Perhaps it is Target, and you could simply buy a gift card to that store and give that in lieu of straight cash.
Having this conversation will be helpful in either case. Definitely communicate and then make your decision.
