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My sister and brother-in-laws expect me to not only bring a gift for their kids at the party, but also to contribute to the party by bringing food…i.e. chips, drinks, salads, etc. The worst part is they simply tell me to bring this food rather than ask. Is this fair?
Usually at kids’ parties, the host provides the party food, games, craft, activities, and favors and the kids and others who are attending are expected to bring a gift. Given that we are talking about family here, perhaps they feel they need some help with the party, and so they ask their close famlily members, i.e. you, to help out with party food. It also may be their expectation because that is how they remember parties being organized in their families, etc. You could ask your spouse about this to see if it is a family “way” of doing things at kids’ parties. If that is so, then you might understand their expectations.
I’m not sure if it is worth bringing this to their attention. If you do bring it up, what is the end result that you are looking for? Is it to not expect you to bring food to the party any longer? Given you have brought food in the past is probably one of the reasons why they just tell you what to bring and not ask..if they ever asked? They just expect it.
Some ways to handle the situation:
You could ask (tell) them to bring food to your parties in order to have them contributing to your parties as well.
Perhaps if it is only one item, i.e. chips, coke, etc., you can continue to bring it, but it sounds like it is the “telling you” and the outright expectation that you will do this that really bothers you. Perhaps you could address the “how” this is being done. But only if you think they can handle it, otherwise it may not lead to any resolution and an even more difficult situation.
If you find out that this is how it always has been in your spouse’s family, perhaps this will make it easier on you.
Family issues around kids’ parties can really be complicated. I’d love to know how others would handle this situation?!
