It’s Low Key, but Should It Be This Low Key?

I just celebrated my daughter’s first birthday party. We don’t make a huge celebration out of this year because it is more for us that for her. Rather, we go all out for #2. Anyway, we simply had some cake and ice cream and our immediate family over for dinner. What really upset me, however, was that none of our extended family bothered to remember her birthday. I wasn’t expecting presents, but I did think people would call and/or send a card? Am I wrong to have had this expectation when we didn’t celebrate in a BIG way?

I definitely get that you didn’t want to have a huge birthday party to celebrate your kid’s first birthday. Really anything goes when it comes to that year, especially since the celebration is more for the parents than the kid. Sounds like you were very happy with how you celebrated. Great!

Regarding the extended family, do people remember extended family member’s birthdays if they are not invited to celebrate at a traditional party? I think every family and actually every person differs on this one. Many people who are not immediate members do not mean any harm by not calling or sending a card, they simply forgot because they are so busy with their own lives and those of their immediate family. Often, it can be a very honest oversight on their part. However, if there has been some sort of dispute, then perhaps it was intentional that they did not call.

You have mentioned that out of the entire extended family, no one called or remembered. If there are people that you are particularly close to, you could definitely call them up and discuss the celebration you had and that you missed hearing from them on that day. You probably won’t want to do this with everyone, but people whom you know well, and are surprised didn’t call or remember would be good for you to connect with. It may make them feel guilty a little bit, but once they remember on their own that guilt will kick in anyway.