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Why don’t kids open their presents at the birthday party anymore? And how about those thank you notes…if I don’t get a verbal thank you at the party, shouldn’t my kid and I know that the gift was opened and appreciated?
I find it interesting that times have changed sooo much since I had birthday parties as a kid. When I was growing up, a large part of the party was “opening my gifts.” Now, you rarely see kids open gifts at the party. I think this is for a couple of reasons:
1. People are planning parties with crafts, games, activities, entertainers, and often have the full birthday party planned out and do not put time in to open the gifts, as this would take away time from the planned party.
2. It seems parents often feel their kids have so much “stuff” already, they don’t feel comfortable with their children opening a bunch of gifts in front of their family and friends. I have been hearing more and more recently that parents feel their kids don’t need so many birthday gifts and are actually trying to find alternatives to gift-giving to ease this feeling, i.e. making a donation to the family’s favorite charity, having kids bring books and enjoy a book exchange, etc.
3. This may also be a matter of manners. Parents may feel that their kids would be rude when they opened the gifts and don’t want to deal with discipline or embarrasment over their kids’ reactions.. Also, I think parents want all of the kids to feel special and so to have 10 to 15 minutes spent on their kid opening their gifts makes it awkward and doesn’t include everyone.
I definitely see pros in opening gifts at the party. First, it is an easy activity that will take up 10 to 15 minutes of party time. So, to have the birthday kid open his gifts actually makes the planning easier.
Seond, it does serve as a very good time to teach your kids how to receive gifts with grace and how to express appreciation. These are important life lessons that are often best taught through situations like this.
Third, the birthday guests are very curious to see if the birthday kid liked his gift. It also gives them the chance to discuss it, etc. Without that, it does leave the guests wondering what happened with their gifts. And, especially during the summer, you can’t just see each other at school on Monday and ask about it.
The idea of Thank You notes is so important, and I find that many people don’t do it at all these days. I blogged on this earlier and related that even when I attended a wedding a few years ago, and gave a very nice gift…what was the thank you? It was a mini-perfume sample (not a real bottle, just a little over-the-counter tube sample) with a note saying the “Bride and Groom thank you for your gift.” That was the worst thank you that wasn’t really a thank you that I have received. So, if this is what is happening at weddings, I can’t say I am surprised by the children not sending off thank you notes. Although people may think that it is not necessary these days, thank you notes are always important and always in style. This is yet another really important lesson to teach children and, especially if the presents weren’t opened at the party and a verbal thank you wasn’t given, because it provides that opportunity to acknowledge and thank the guest for gifts.
I would be interested to hear others’ experiences with all of this. If you have any thoughts to add, please let me hear you!
