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Recently, I received a question from a concerned parent stating that her 5 year old was not very interested in attending birthday parties, although she loves to play with other kids on play dates and under other circumstances. Also, if she does attend a party she doesn’t want her mother to leave and hangs around her acting very shy during the duration of the party. Should she make her attend the parties, and, if so, should she encourage her to engage with the other kids while at the party?
Parents should encourage their birthday party-shy child to attend the birthday parties. If the invitations are from people that she is not particularly close to or doesn’t know too well, I wouldn’t worry about accepting them. For those she is closest to, she should be encouraged to attend. Also, at such a young age, it is still very much acceptable for you to stay at the party with her. This will help her to feel comfortable attending the party.
Once at the party, encourage her to do the crafts, games, and activities. If she hovers close to you, make sure to also engage in the activities and help her to interact with the other kids who are also doing the activities. This may help give her the confidence to talk and play with the kids on her own as well. If you find that she doesn’t want to interact and just stays close to you during the party, that is also OK. She may just not yet be comfortable in a group party setting; the excitement, decorations, and activity may be overwhelming. So, giving her the space and not forcing her to engage is also acceptable. As kids grow up, they learn to become more comfortable on their own. This takes place naturally.
Be patient…she’ll grow into the party scene. And probably way too quickly for your comfort! Here’s to it!
